What's In A Name?

  

Today, I had a vivid dream in the early morning hours (which happens often). I actually began keeping a dream journal this year because of the intensity and vivid imagery I experience while dreaming. Sometimes there is a recurring pattern or theme, but this one was new and different. In my dream, I had made a flight reservation, on American Airlines, and I got a call from the airline confirming my flight arrangements. They asked me to verify my name, and I said “Joanna Harris.” Then they said they could not verify my information so my flight would be cancelled. Their records did not match what I was telling them. I panicked and realized I was giving them my maiden name, not my married name…which I suddenly couldn’t remember. I scrambled while on the phone, searching in vain for my license which would tell me my name. I opened drawers and felt suddenly lost. My sister and other people were in my dream, asking me what I was looking for, and I told them “My name, I need to find my driver’s license with my picture and name!” I dumped out my purse and found my wallet, but my license was not in there. I kept telling the airline representative that I knew who I was but I couldn’t remember. I was in despair about not being able to say who I was. No one I was with could tell me, and the airline needed me to tell them so they could validate my ticket. My name. My identity.

Then I woke up, with many of these details still very active and swirling in my mind. I believe this is a dream about how much we struggle to discover, and then remember, who we really are; not just our name, but our true and authentic identity. It’s about the fear and insecurity we feel when confronted by others who either don’t know us or don’t believe we are who we say we are. Maybe we know who we are on the inside, but we have forgotten our "name." Maybe we are living under the name of something in our past that is not true. Maybe we know we aren’t living in truth, but we can’t seem to find our way back – if only we could find that picture ID that would confirm our identity, to us and everyone else. Who we are is more than our literal name, our experiences, our successes and failures – our identity is deep inside our core, and it defines us, it provokes us, it reminds us of purpose, it calms us, it sustains us through difficulty. Oftentimes, we find it in times of quiet and contemplation. Rarely do we find it in times of chaos and urgency.

I’m still processing some of the dream details, and they come in and out of focus as the day goes on. I know for me, it speaks to my need to carve out more quiet, more contemplation, and more connection to my Creator. Peace.